News & Shit
You don't get it.
I was gonna make a comic for this joke, but I can't bring myself to draw this for reasons you will soon find, that and im lazy. But heres your joke. Oh to any members of my family, please dont read this. Seriously.
A man walks into a talent agents office with his wife and children. The talent agent looks at them for a moment then asks,
"What can I do for you today"
The man replies quickly with haste in his words,
"Well me and my family here have the most darling act, and we think you should sponser our show."
"Well", says the talent agent. "In this day and age people dont want to see family acts, they're too cutesy."
The wife speaks up very quickly to plead with the man "Please sir, we are sure you will fall in love with our act if you just give us but two minutes"
The talent agent thinks for a minute then replies. "Hmmmm. Alright I suppose, you've got two minutes. Lets see what you have to show me."
Without a moment to waste the man looks to his son and nods. At this que the boy pulls out a cassette player, places it on the talent agents desk and pushes play.
Thrilling circus music fills the room as the family breaks into dance and begin taking their clothes off. As soon as they are all naked the man looks at his wife, nods as he did to his son, and he starts fucking her from behind. When the children see their parents do this, as if on que the eldest two boy and girl of the children begin fucking in the same maner as their parents, and the youngest son, having nobody to pair up with except their baby, begins fucking the baby. The six family members are all enjoying themselves (with the exception of the baby of course) when the music gains tempo. When this happens the men all switched partners to the left. The eldest son was now fucking his mother, the youngest son now fucking his older sister, and the father now fucking his baby girl. After a few moments of this, they all proceed to switch to oral sex. Most everyone is doing ok, except the father and the baby, the baby begins to choke and then dies on the fathers dick, and without another person to switch to the father just keeps going. Eventually the father pokes his penis through the back of this dead babys head and with his penis sticking out the other side, decides to mount his youngest son from behind. So now the mother seeing this, motions to her eldest son and tells him to take his father from behind, while she goes to sit infront of her daughter and pushes her daughters face into her cunt. So now the eldest son is fucking the father, the father is fucking the youngest son through the dead babys throat, the youngest son is fucking their daughter, and the daughter is eating out her mother. Very soon the mother turns around, sticks here ass into the daughters mouth and begins taking a big shit. The daughter without hesitation begins eating her mothers shit like it is her favorite desert with happy content. Meanwhile the eldest son ejaculates inside his father then gets up stands over the whole group and begins pissing over them all. The father and youngest son are so turned on by this they both pull out stand over the group and ejaculate. They all then roll around in the shit, piss, ejaclate and blood (from the baby) stand up, rub the remaining shit equally over their bodies and prance around the room chanting "Look at us, were a bunch of niggers!" over and over again. They all then run into the center of the room, take a strong bow, and shout "Taaadaaa!"
The talent agent, just shocked has no idea where to begin and so he just asks "So... what do you call yourselves?"
The man with a big grin raises his hands in the arm and says with confidence and pride "We call ourselves... The Aristocrats!"
Awwww, Shit!
Money
Buddy Muhammad, Prophet of the muslim faith.
...and smelly... Yeah, I said it... Muslims, your fucking prophet smells like curry and shit...
A day in the life of a banana.
Fuck RPG Maker
So after seeing one demo of a 3D game making studio, I couldn't keep toying around with RPG Maker. So after searching for hours, actually, after giving up my search, I found the Unreal Developer Kit, a full 3D game making suite, for FREE! Hoooly shit, gimme a week and I'll post my next game, it will be pimp!
Black people, we love you already, get over the drama.
During an anti-rasicm speach I heard a black women in the crowd mumble something about "Shinning shoes"... Like we actually make black people shine our shoes. Now and days black people have more rights then us, out of fear that we are to be called racist hate mongers. Get over it black people, bad shit happened but it was so long ago your parents don't even remember it.
Religion - No Hard Feelings
Wow I am incredibly impressed, I just got out of a 3 hour debate about the greatest agrument in the world "Religion vs Science" my beliefs of course are that god is story we made up to ease or fear of death and to ease the pain of lost loved ones by thinking you will see them again one day. In my opinion faith = ignorance, that to have faith means to deny fact. This arguement went back and forth my opponent claiming science can prove no more then the bible, that I couldnt prove god isnt real (which i admit to). My arguement being that the same book that claims many things that have been proven impossible, claims there is a god. My opponent said such things like "you follow science blindly" (omfg the irony) and "god gives you a choice, free will, science doesnt" to which I replied "FOLLOW SCIENCE BLINDLY! WTF DID YOU ACTUALLY JUST SAY THAT" and "the bible gives you no free will, the bible is (in the immortal words of dogma) - believe in me, and do what I say or I'll fucking spank you" (whole dogma speech below) and after this intense arguement for which my fingers could barely keep up with my thoughts as I typed them furiously. We both told eachother to have a good night, that we had fun, we'll add eachother as friends online and "No hard feelings"... That is what shocked the hell out of me, two strangers (one of which me!) could have such a dire arguement that can never be resolved and walk away friends. If only those silly muslims could do the same....
From Dogma (1999) - "Through the Looking Glass". That poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter," that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or, or with his tusks, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do? What do they do? They, they dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensures the destruction of one's inner being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions out of, out of fear of some, some intangible parent figure who, who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says, and says, "Do it... do it and I'll fuckin' spank you."
eHarmony
I knew I was unique, but even eHarmony cant hook me up.
Super Aids
From the makers of the epic saga, Pong.
We Interupt Star Wars Week
Can you believe the kind of world we have come to be?
Star Wars Week - Comic 5
If I saw any of those in a dark alley I would run the other way, I'll tell you whut...
Star Wars Week - Comic 4
I can't think of a star wars refrence that rhymes with "Viagra", seriously, I've been at it for like 20 minutes now. If you can think of one email me at gordelox@gordelox.ca.
Star Wars Week
C'mon man, sheath your pride, nobody wants to see that... But thats prob what it would look like, am I right?
Mito-get-it-on-dria
This latest comic makes me realize i need to get my site set up on wordpress...
Existance...
Just posted a new comic, check it out!
First Comic Post!
Trying to get back in the comic making mood, look for the gender confused shark in yourself, in your neighboor, in us all...
Grand Opening - Work in Progress
Welcome to Gordelox.ca, home of many things but house to none. At the moment, im learning CSS (this website layout is entirely done in CSS/Divs) and am still tinkering around with the look and feel.
Once this site is done it will be home of my web comics, my first feature game "Crystals of Essence", tutorials for RPG Maker VX as well as general ramblings and personal opinions. For now, you can use the navigation to browse my temporary Crystals of Essence blog, a direct link to download the latest version and links to all kinds of neat places on the interweb.
Thank you for checking me out, come back soon as I have big plans for this site!